Why are women so hard on themselves?

“Why women are so hard on themselves”- How to stop ‘shoulding’ oneself

I was chatting with this young girl I mentor.

She mentioned a relatively common phenomenon – Being hard and judging herself poorly.

She felt she wasn’t doing her best at her role – Which was understandable given she was new at it.

Maybe time would set that right – maybe picking up new skills would. Or giving herself the space might.

But while that happens, self-inflicted judgement can tend to wreck chaos.

“Like being submerged”, as she put it.

What can we do to avoid saying, ‘I should have done more’.

‘Did I miss something’.

“I should have spoken up’ or ‘I shouldn’t I have said that’

“’Shoulding’ is the act of trying to motivate yourself through some sort of obligation or shaming process”

I don’t honestly know what it takes to break years of conditioning.

But it starts with being aware of it when you do it to yourself.

I wonder if it is a gender neutral phenomenon. Or if there are any books on the topic.

When was the last time you were hard on yourself?

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Ranjani Mani

#reviewswithranjani #LICreatorAccelerator

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