“Why women are so hard on themselves”- How to stop ‘shoulding’ oneself
I was chatting with this young girl I mentor.
She mentioned a relatively common phenomenon – Being hard and judging herself poorly.
She felt she wasn’t doing her best at her role – Which was understandable given she was new at it.
Maybe time would set that right – maybe picking up new skills would. Or giving herself the space might.
But while that happens, self-inflicted judgement can tend to wreck chaos.
“Like being submerged”, as she put it.
What can we do to avoid saying, ‘I should have done more’.
‘Did I miss something’.
“I should have spoken up’ or ‘I shouldn’t I have said that’
“’Shoulding’ is the act of trying to motivate yourself through some sort of obligation or shaming process”
I don’t honestly know what it takes to break years of conditioning.
But it starts with being aware of it when you do it to yourself.
I wonder if it is a gender neutral phenomenon. Or if there are any books on the topic.
When was the last time you were hard on yourself?
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