How dual-career couples can make it work?
A few weeks ago I met this person who worked on an extended team during a team lunch.
During the chat he called out how his previous role was as an acting CTO. Mildly surprised, I prodded him further to ask why he then chose the current career path as an individual contributor.
In what sounded like a well thought out, intentional move, he called out how both he and his wife were on fast paced careers and when they had children they took a conscious decision for one person to step back to help out more with the kids.
So while his wife went on to lead the APAC charter, he sounded absolutely content in choosing what he did and seemed happy playing a balanced role at work and home.
It made me both happy to see a man do that as well as wonder if I would even see something like that happen in an environment I’ve grown up in, where the gender roles are more starkly defined.
Whilst that may not be an option for everyone and in the absence of family support, there are always choices to be made.
And that is why talking about career trade-offs and what is important to each (one’s aspirations, career goals, geographies and kids) is so absolutely important to couples
Something that a starry 24 year old me never really thought of when I married, but just got lucky.
But then, we shouldn’t have to depend on luck though to make couples work.
Here is what an HBR research recommends on the topic
‘In her study of more than 100 couples around the globe, the author found that dual-career couples tend to go through three transitions when they are particularly vulnerable:
– when they first learn to work together as a couple;
– when they go through a midcareer or a midlife reinvention;
– and as they reach the final stages of their careers.
Those who communicate at each transition about deeper work and personal issues such as values, boundaries, and fears have a better chance of emerging stronger from each one, fulfilled both in their relationships and in their careers.”
So are you talking to your spouse about what makes you work?
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