On Finding Happiness

What do you think are the ingredients for Happiness?

Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor and a popular author on the topic of Happiness summarized the common elements we usually consider on what it takes to be happy

– A comfortable income
– Robust health
– A supportive marriage and
– A lack of tragedy or trauma

She noted however that the general conclusion from these are correlated with happiness less strongly than we actually think

By several estimates all of these variables put together account for no more than 8-15% of the variance in happiness

What then accounts for most of the variance in happiness?

How we do comparatively

We price our own happiness relative to others

A lot of how we feel about ourselves comes from how we think about it in relation to others.

By shifting what it is that makes us feel good about ourselves, we can move towards a more compassionate view of others

Give others credit when it is due
Admit when our decisions could have been better
Acknowledging that almost nothing is black and white

TL-DR – Find better ways to feel good about oneself than to schadenfreude
Book sources –  Stumbling on Happiness ; Thinking in Bets ; The How of Happiness

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