“The world isn’t fair, Calvin”
“I know. But why isn’t it ever unfair in my favour”
It is one of my favourite Calvin and Hobbes strips all time.
I was once having a conversation with a mentor. “But it just isn’t fair. We deserve better”, I called out vehemently.
“Do you want to vent or find solutions?” he smiled at me. That’s one thing you learn to be clear about when you have coaching conversations.
The other thing he mentioned was this, ‘Expect positive results but prepare for the world to be unfair and to fail”
There are always going to be things beyond your control. The dissonance we have in our heads is with the discrepancy between our perceived sense of right vs the reality.
Yes, life can be unfair.
For the longest time, I hated seeing people older than 60. In my head, my dad didn’t get to live beyond 62 for no fault of his. It seemed quite unfair to see folks with unhealthy lifestyles live much longer. But that is not the right kind of thinking.
But on the flip side, it is also unfair that I was born to parents who valued and educated me as well as they did their son. Something I choose to take for granted.
Getting past the unfairness of life that is not within our control is critical. Viewing yourself as a victim tends to keep you in the past and promotes a sense of powerlessness.
One of the things I have learnt to do over time is to plan for things not to go in my favor. Be cognisant of what you can and cannot control. And do not expend energy on things that are beyond you.
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~Mary Engelbreit