💁♀️💁♀️ 7 harsh truths as a working women and a parent.
Vignesh Kumar and I mentor this young girl.
Two years into her first job, she was contemplating her next career move – should she look at doing a MS in US or move into data sciences?
As Vignesh prodded her more about her why, she teared up – “I want to prove myself to my family and to the world. I want to do something impactful and have an identity for myself. It’s important to make my dad proud…” she trailed off.
I found a bit of myself in her from 15 years ago.
My parents were English literature graduates in government jobs.
They didn’t understand why I was so passionate about tech or even how to help. But they stood steadfast, supporting me in all that I chose to do.
Here are 7 reflections you learn over time –
1️⃣ As a working women and parent, whether you earn as much or more than your spouse, the mental load of managing the household still falls largely on women – can you have it all? It is immensely tiring and needs constant trade-offs. Try it any way.
2️⃣ There will be times you wonder if it’s ok to ask for that raise or promotion, apply for that role or raise your hand up for an opportunity you aren’t 100% qualified for. Do it anyway.
3️⃣ You will be faced with scenarios where you wonder if you are enough, have to try harder, be the only person who looks like you in the room or ask yourself ‘why will people listen to you’ – Put yourself out there, any way.
4️⃣ The lesser dissonance there is between what you do and what you ‘want’ to do – the happier you tend to be. There isn’t a magic wand that will get you from A to B. Strive to move closer, each day.
5️⃣ Even when there are multiple folks who will undermine your each move and be micro aggressive, there are bound to be leaders, mentors and allies who will lean in to push you up – work to get closer to them, each day
6️⃣ You will mess up. Your first time doing some thing. As an individual or a manager. You will fail or make people upset – reflect and learn to do better.
Stand up, dust yourself and try again, each day.
Do right by yourself. Even if no one is watching.
7️⃣ Your priorities will change over time. From financial freedom, titles, charter, promotions to ultimately freedom over time and fulfilment. You can only see what is ahead of you. And health is the only thing that really matters.
As Gaiman says, strive to make good art. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.
Happy Vishu to those who celebrating the new year!
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